LEFTOVERJINX

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Embracing The Quiet


I think I've finally come to terms that my blog wouldn't be updated as often as I want. I've started this site to document my life the best possible way I can, but I guess the presence of microblogging platforms make me extra lazy to prepare a decent post. Tweet a photo with a caption and you're all set. You can even cross-post that to Instagram so it's all good. That, or maybe it just comes with the age. I feel like I have enough avenues and channels now to properly discuss and convey my feelings and thoughts, that's why I come up empty here.

Every time a new month turns, I'll list all the topics I plan on writing about (which dates as far as back April 2017 LOL) for when I finally feel that elusive spark once again, but nothing ever comes to fruition. What's funny is it's always the same list I end up with. I swear I always have the intention to write but I end up articulating nothing. And in my attempt to keep this blog "updated," I'd copy-paste my Zomato reviews here, thinking it would at least show signs of life. But I disliked it. I never did that before. My process is always I'd write something for the blog and then copy it to my Zomato account. I know it sound ridiculous. It's just that I never deviate from my blogging practices before. But I did it just because I want to post something even if it's half baked. It felt like I'm putting up filler content and I hate it. I really dislike explaining myself sometimes but I know someone out there understands what I'm blabbering about.

Also, the past few months, I've also lessened my Facebook browsing time (even deleted the app later on) because I feel like I don't want to burn my hours peering over other people's lives (that caused me to be almost late to work for 2 consecutive days), at the same time, I don't want to have this constant impulse of tapping the 'Like' button and updating everyone of my every move. It's just a personal preference, really. I feel like there are some things I'd rather not know and not share anymore. Do I sound old? I feel really old.

Things has been this way for a while and surprisingly, it works for me. This might be a temporary thing or maybe for the long haul, I've yet to know, but I like how things are right now. I'm in no way an influencer or content creator, but blogging has been an integral part of my life because it was a personal way of blowing off steam. I am an overthinker so I need a space to release all my thoughts and share things that make me both happy and sad, even the mundane. I have so much stuff going on in my head, it's scary sometimes. I have to remember that all the time. I started this not for the page views and the clicks and the monetary compensation I sometimes get and for the sake of updating, but I started this for me. Because simply, I don't ever want to forget.

So yes, I am unsure. I'm even having second thoughts on publishing this as I am now writing this because whatever I'm saying here feels like a shout out into the void. Do I even make sense? 

For something titled "Embracing The Quiet," I sure yakked a lot. Maybe the past months of radio silence here did some good, or maybe not. I'm just going to enjoy whatever wave this is and divert all the extra time to listen religiously to Saab and Jim's podcasts, clean my room, take more photos, transfer movies to Sherlock's hard drive that I've been putting off for months (haha), sleep, and let go of my long list of things to blog about and just start over with a clean slate. No pressure. 


(Inspired by this blog post.)

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