grub + travels + perspectives

Now Playing: John Paul White - See If I Care

My The Civil Wars loving heart skipped a few beats when I noticed that there was some activity on John Paul White's Twitter account earlier last month: he changed his default photo and removed his bio, which previously said: "I am a War." Though I was internally screaming at the turn of events, it could just be out of whim. Nothing official. He just wanted to change his photo and move on from being a half of that duo.

Photo from SingleLock.com
After the band's break up last 2014 (and my life was a bit sadder since then), JP left all his social media accounts untouched. The two cited "internal discord" as the reason for the split but neither spoke about it in black and white. Joy gave vague answers to interviews and JP maintained his distance from everything. He resurfaced early 2015 for this interview regarding his new indie label, Single Lock Records. Joy Williams then released a solo album, Venus. The first single off of it was titled "What a Good Woman Does," and Joy confirmed this is about TCW's break up and that yes, there were a couple of songs about John Paul. As for John Paul, if I dig hard enough online, I find some photos of him making appearances on some events.

I think he likes giving people like me mini heart attacks because he made music (bless the heavens) and was part of the second season of True Detective's soundtrack. If you've seen the series, you would agree with me that he's perfect to be making music for them. And last November, he made an unexpected intimate performance at The Mothlight with The Secret Sisters. He sang 11 new songs plus Simple Song which was part of the compilation, Southern Family. (How dare you be silent all this time and just pop out of nowhere with 11 new songs! How dare you, John Paul White!)

Thankfully, someone was able to video the entire set and share to us once again the beautiful and sad music of John Paul White. I've only learned about the whole thing late last month, so I'm still in that state of perpetual excitement. I love how everyone present in the room with him seemed to be quiet and holding their breath while he sang, there's tension in the air and you're torn if you're really ready to hear his words once again. (At least that's how I would've felt if I was there. Haha.)

You may watch the entire performance here.

In See If I Care (my favorite out of the bunch), the piano ballad with hardly any guitar-playing, opens with a whole lot of indifference:
See if I care / See if I give a damn what kind of man you really think I am
One of those guys who'd look for you everywhere 
Don't kid yourself / See if I care

But as the song went on, it's apparent that he, in reality, may still care. It reminded me of the song Lately by The Helio Sequence so much. There's a bit of anger in it and by the end of the song, the longing is very evident. I could picture him penning the song, talking to the memory of his past lover. 
See if I care / See if it moves me
You at my door wanting to hold me
I've moved on and you are not really there
So just come on in / See if I care

His silence all this time translated into beautiful songs of heartache. Maybe this is his way of speaking about the past issues. Or maybe not. We won't really know. There's always a lot of different ways interpretations of songs go. This type of music is what's been missing in my life for a long while now. And I honestly thought I would never hear anything again from John Paul. I finally have a chance to see The Civil Wars in person, although not together anymore. Either way, it still definitely works for me. Somehow, with John Paul returning to the music scene made my world a-ok again. I think it would take a bit of time getting used to that, I still can't fully wrap my mind about it.

And to make things official, two nights ago, JP updated his Facebook page as well. He posted a photo of his guitar (with his dog at the background) with the caption:

Hello. I hope this finds you well.
I know it's been a while.
We've got some catching up to do.
John Paul


To be updated about his touring dates, visit his website here.

Note: See If I Care is not the official title of the song. No song titles were given during his first public performance.