grub + travels + perspectives

It's all good... I think.

I prefer not to lay everything out in the open, I'm not one who wears her heart on her sleeve. I used to but now, I choose not to.

My mind is always filled with a stream of consciousness. There's always an inner monologue or debate, my thoughts never stop. I may not always say a lot of things but I do have thoughts about everything.

I need not be reminded of how much I cling to the time spent and invested. I know I am nowhere near being an oasis of wisdom about how to proceed with things. On the other side, I am logical and rational, well, we all are.

Words are just words. Thoughts are just thoughts. Just. Unless you harbor every strength in your body and put it into action. That's the only instance you would have truly given justice to that voice inside your head. That same old voice that told you the right things to do, that everything will be better, that you deserve better -- the level-headed you.

Again, these are just words projected from my head. Nothing will ever bloom out of this if I don't plant the seeds. If I don't plant the seeds in good soil. If I don't look after it everyday and attend to its every need. If I don't put it in shelter when there's pouring rain. When things slip even just once, everything will just drown and I have to go through the cycle once more. I have the guts to make the first step, I doubt myself when I have to deal with it everyday.

Familiarity, I believe, is a double-edged sword. Both sides has its use but both sides are sharp, both sides cut. As much as you want it to be always for your benefit, it never always stay that way (or at least in my case).

Give me the benefit of the doubt, I need it right now. I need you to look at me differently and be confident that I can do it.