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  • Patricia

    Patricia

    Majority of my friends call me Trish, I guess you could call me that too. I'm a transcriptions editor with a really messed up body clock and never ending affinity for films, food and written words. I like street art, sweets, neutrals and monochromes, sushi, window seats, golf carts and lazy weekends.

    Some of the things that completely preoccupy me are my fixation with the now defunct The Civil Wars and their beautiful art of sadness, Oh Sehun, sleeping, CSS and HTML, @iameden, and those damn hypnotizing Tasty videos. Top country in my travel bucketlist? Iceland. But the one that will always have my heart? Hong Kong.


    Questions, I’ve got some questions
    I want to know you
    But what if I could ask you only one thing
    Only this one time, what would you tell me?
    - Questions, Jack Johnson

    Everything unraveled and wrapped up before my very eyes, and most nights, I can't, still, characterize and categorize the situation. I guess it's just a matter of preference. Some people live for the thrill and the venturing to the unknown -- surprises and inconsistencies, gray areas and bending of rules. Some people live within limits and fences and parameters -- anything that sits outside of what they know, boggles them to the extreme and for them, definitely lacks logic. Can't blame them. Can't blame you or me. We are all wired in some sick way. 

    I have learned to set aside what needs to be set aside. I have learned not to fidget my fingers or look at the pavement or twirl my hair or avoid eye contact when I'm feeling anxious and nervous and giddy. But it still doesn't change the fact that in my mind, I still had questions. I remember asking them to myself every night, until one day I just had enough and peeled myself away from all this dissonance. I do not deserve all this bullshit. That's how it really felt like: stripped myself off of something I actually liked inch by sticky, clingy inch because that's what it was: bullshit. Gahd, I can't even remember why I somehow enjoyed being in that awful mess. What kind of a person am I? Hahaha.

    All along what I needed was just something tangible, a little acknowledgment that the road went both ways. And in the most unforeseen way, everything was suddenly justified -- wait. I don't know if that's even the correct term for it. Maybe, validated? I kept thinking before how that was just all an elaborate story I've created in my mind because what happened is not how it appeared to be to others. But I guess I can finally let out a big sigh of relief because hey, I'm not just some crazy chick with make-believe tales. You said it yourself. Well, not in that syntax but I know you know what I mean. I needed what I needed to hear and I will leave everything at that. I'm just a bit glad to know that it was not all in my head after all. :)

    *

    This post is in response to Truth Thursdays' previous prompt, To Answer Your Question. Truth Thursdays exists to connect people through writing, to initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. If you want to know more about Truth Thursdays and how to be a part of it, read here.
    . Thursday, May 28, 2015 .

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    . Thursday, May 28, 2015 .


    Questions, I’ve got some questions
    I want to know you
    But what if I could ask you only one thing
    Only this one time, what would you tell me?
    - Questions, Jack Johnson

    Everything unraveled and wrapped up before my very eyes, and most nights, I can't, still, characterize and categorize the situation. I guess it's just a matter of preference. Some people live for the thrill and the venturing to the unknown -- surprises and inconsistencies, gray areas and bending of rules. Some people live within limits and fences and parameters -- anything that sits outside of what they know, boggles them to the extreme and for them, definitely lacks logic. Can't blame them. Can't blame you or me. We are all wired in some sick way. 

    I have learned to set aside what needs to be set aside. I have learned not to fidget my fingers or look at the pavement or twirl my hair or avoid eye contact when I'm feeling anxious and nervous and giddy. But it still doesn't change the fact that in my mind, I still had questions. I remember asking them to myself every night, until one day I just had enough and peeled myself away from all this dissonance. I do not deserve all this bullshit. That's how it really felt like: stripped myself off of something I actually liked inch by sticky, clingy inch because that's what it was: bullshit. Gahd, I can't even remember why I somehow enjoyed being in that awful mess. What kind of a person am I? Hahaha.

    All along what I needed was just something tangible, a little acknowledgment that the road went both ways. And in the most unforeseen way, everything was suddenly justified -- wait. I don't know if that's even the correct term for it. Maybe, validated? I kept thinking before how that was just all an elaborate story I've created in my mind because what happened is not how it appeared to be to others. But I guess I can finally let out a big sigh of relief because hey, I'm not just some crazy chick with make-believe tales. You said it yourself. Well, not in that syntax but I know you know what I mean. I needed what I needed to hear and I will leave everything at that. I'm just a bit glad to know that it was not all in my head after all. :)

    *

    This post is in response to Truth Thursdays' previous prompt, To Answer Your Question. Truth Thursdays exists to connect people through writing, to initiate something honest, thoughtful and meaningful. If you want to know more about Truth Thursdays and how to be a part of it, read here.
    . Monday, May 25, 2015 .

    (As of writing, there's already a new episode of Game of Thrones that aired. Also, if you do not watch Game of Thrones, iZombie or Constantine as they are broadcasted, this might contain spoilers for you.)

    Even though I seldom watch TV, I have a handful of TV series that I faithfully follow. A few of my favorites are, of course, Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, How to Get Away with Murder, Constantine, Stalker, Modern Family and iZombie. I don't watch them all at the same time (haha), and I also prefer that, for a example, a whole season has passed before I start watching them so that I wouldn't be put through the agony of waiting episode by episode. But today being the age of downloading and almost everything within a click of a button, it's so easy to catch up. It just took me an afternoon to watch the entirety of iZombie and just a weekend to breeze through 2 seasons of Modern Family.

    And last week was such a tough week for some of my favorite shows. (LOL sorry I am so affected.)

    1. Constantine

    Constantine was not renewed in NBC for a second season. *tears* Now this one, I already saw coming. Firstly, I've never really been a fan until I watched the movie adaptation of Constantine (which majority of people totally hated). I guess because I was never aware of the comic books, I never had expectations with the film. But just so you know, I totally dig it. After the film, I got into reading the comic books then I read online that there will be a TV series. And I was ecstatic. Matt Ryan is just a firecracker as John Constantine. He's feisty and witty and sarcastic and perfect. But the series had that vibe that it was just for one season. It has always felt that way from the start. I know it has a huge following but I guess it was not enough. Still rooting for the show to be picked up by CW or Netflix or Hulu. So if you're a fan, you can help by signing the petition here. I already did.

    2. Game of Thrones (Season 5, Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent and Unbroken)

    Yes, let's talk about that scene. GoT has been under fire for having a rape scene yet again. (Okay, all those controversial scenes before, Khal Drogo + Dany's and Jamie + Cersei's with dead Joffrey in the background, are still under a huge debate as to whether it could be classified as rape or not.) The few minutes leading to the end of the episode was just horrible. I've never read the books so I've no idea on how the story was supposed to be. But I truly hope this is a turning point for something. For Theon, perhaps? At some point during the earlier seasons, I hated Sansa's character because of she ~adored~ Joffrey and turned blind on everything. But she's the character that has endured so much just to make it through. And now she's raped by the most sadistic character on the series. What more could happen? She gets pregnant with that bastard's child? Ugh. This must mean something. With all the commotion in the world wide web with this episode, I was really intrigued because I haven't seen it until last night. It's no way as cringe-worthy as Khal Drogo and Dany's consummation episode. Nope. Alfie Allen's acting chops was so great, I think I may have cried a bit. Ramsay is a monster.

    3. iZombie (Season 1, Episode 9: Patriot Brains)

    Another series based on a comic book! I had doubts at first about sitting through episodes of this but I've grown to love it as each episode progressed. Plus the fact that Rob Thomas is one of the writers and producers of iZombie. Yeah, there was some Veronica Mars feel here and there. I squealed a little when Percy Diggs and Ryan Hansen appeared in an episode! Anyway, one lesson I've learned in the world of TV series is that if all is going well, someone's bound to die. Liv just found ~*~love~*~ with another zombie in the form of Lowell Tracey. He's just sexy as hell and I admit it got me hooked on how their relationship will turn out. But TV heroines can never have everything. OF COURSE NOT. Just as we tiptoe to the series' few remaining episodes, they kill Lowell with a gunshot to the head, point blank, because he was such doing a noble thing for Liv. And Liv's reaction to it (as she witnessed everything) just broke my heart. I was expecting that Lowell would turn up alive in the next episode because I remembered Major shooting the Candy Man in the eye and he didn't die. 


    But he died. He's gone. :( On Episode 10, she then ingests the brain of an alcoholic journalist, hoping that somehow this could help her deal with everything. That scene when Liv was standing next to his body sobbing uncontrollably was so sad. Everything is just turning to a mess! Major checks himself to a psychiatric facility, Ravi left with no choice but to confirm Lowell's death as suicide, Liutenant Suzuki covering up for Blaine and the missing kids rate continue to go up! The only consolation is that Ravi, though bitten by the zombie rat, was by some miracle, not infected. (That and it was renewed for a second season! Yay!)

    Man, things are quite depressing last week. I need to start watching Parks and Recreation. Any recommendations?
    . Friday, May 22, 2015 .


    Putting a new twist to this blog segment because as much as I want to show photos of my hand-picked favorite things the past few weeks, I don't have any because I still have no phone. Haha. So instead, I'm listing down a couple of videos that I've enjoyed watching lately.

    1. Taking Back Sunday's Better Homes and Gardens
    For some reason, the first time I heard this, it reminded me of Everything Must Go from 2009's New Again -- theme and energy-wise. Haven't seen any great vids from the band recently and I'm really pleased with this one. First, let's just all do each other a favor and get over the fact that they have changed so much since Tell All Your Friends. And I really loved how the band turned out now. People just need to let go of the TAYF era. It doesn't make them less of a band. They grew up (damn it, they're all fathers now) and so did their music, which was for the better. /rant Liked the symbolism of watching a burning house (was it the house described in Everything Must Go?), how Lazzara looked so rough on the edges but you can see the rawness of how he felt. And Lazzara's just so sexy here. That hair~ Haha. I just had to say it.


    2. Alice in Wonderland (1903)
    I've recently just discovered that the first film adaptation of Lewis Carroll's beloved children's book was actually a silent film directed by Cecil Hepworth and Percy Stow. The film lasts for ~8 minutes, slightly unfaithful to the original story. It creeped me out a bit when I first saw it to be honest. Just look at the rabbit.


    3. The Making of Poison and Wine
    And my affinity for this duo still continues. After a year from their break up, I still live through their music videos and listen to both their albums everyday. I just recently saw this, and God, the feels just wouldn't stop. I don't even know why I'm so hung up on them! Today, Joy Williams released a new single called What a Good Woman Does, which was her way of addressing The Civil Wars' demise. The song goes: Hear me. I haven't lost my voice without you near me. I can tell the truth about you leaving, but that's not what a good woman does. This certainly reignites and adds more fuel to the fire about speculations on the real reason why they broke up. But it was just a sad, sad beautiful song. I wonder how John Paul White felt about this. There's really a big contrast between how they were in this video and how they ended up as described in Joy's latest song. (That was a mouthful. I could talk about The Civil Wars for days.)


    4. Game of Thrones: The Musical by Coldplay
    I had so much fun watching this. I think it's so cool of the GoT cast (and Coldplay!) that they take some time off for a project like this to help out and also to make fun of themselves! Chris Martin looked like an eager little kid excited for his school project. Extra brownie points for Kit Harington on that sexy, sexy song! Jon Snow and Ygritte still got that hot chemistry! And that scene between Alfie Allen and Iwan Rheon was hilarious! Every bit of this was pure win! Can't stop laughing! If you're a fan of Game of Thrones, you must watch this!


    Do you have any favorite videos to share? Happy weekend, everyone!

    (Image from here.)
    . Tuesday, May 19, 2015 .


    I first heard of Satinka Naturals through Muffet, as she is friends with its owner, Satinka Felipe. She told me the restaurant serves organic, healthy food with vegan and vegetarian options. We've always made mental notes of visiting the place but it keeps getting pushed back for a number of reasons. I've managed to finally drop by last week when I met up with Joyce for her birthday lunch treat. She surprisingly recommended Satinka Naturals after reading about it on Spot.ph. And also because it's just a stone's throw away from where she lives and works, and it felt like she was under the impression that I was easing my way into being a vegetarian after our other lunch date before at Corner Tree Cafe. (I'm trying to eat healthier but I don't think I can ever be vegetarian. Haha.)



    Nowadays, getting healthier options for food has become more accessible than before. But usually, healthier means something on the pricier side. It's difficult to let go of junk food because it's readily available and let's face it, a lot cheaper. I, honestly, most days would go for pancit canton than a bowl of greens. Hehe. Though if my budget permits, I would love to go to more places like this.

    After we arrived and had a good look at their menu (which reminded me of Sagada food), we proceeded upstairs to be seated and to place our orders.


    As opposed to the hectic and hot street of Pasong Tamo, the interiors of Satinka Naturals were laid back, (almost peaceful) comfortable and cool. There were low rustic tables and lots of pillows for lounging and chilling, and some soothing background music. Art pieces adorned the place and there was also a little shelf with books in it. Plus points for the great feel and ambiance!


    . Sunday, May 17, 2015 .


    I think I can never be good at blogging about my travels. It's either I post a summary or a photo diary, or about the food you should try/ the place's specialties, but never a detailed, blow-by-blow account of the trip -- little bits of information like what type of transportation is available, the fares, the fees, boat ride schedules, what to ask the locals, etc. That's one of the great things about Ian (LOL, bola) because he prepares and researches for all the info we would need prior to our trips and makes it as budget-friendly as possible. I really wish he would start his travel blog, but well, he ended up making a travel vlog instead, which is not bad at all.

    My 2015 started with my most adventure-filled travel to date. Hahaha. It was when Charm, Ian and I went to Tuguegarao to visit Palaui Island. The weather was uncooperative for the most part (it was raining since day 1 but it actually made us enjoy our Korean dinner on our last day there) that made me so nervous about the thought of traveling by boat for an hour just to get from point A to B, plus the fact that I'm not good at swimming. I can remember the waves. Oh my God, the waves. It was such a nerve-wracking ride. But it was all so worth it. So freaking worth it.

    So here's a ~4-minute clip that features the paradise that is Palaui. (Yes, I like to raise my hands too much. Hahaha.)


    Music by SLO, Shut Out of Paradise.
    No copyright infringement intended.
    Not for commercial use.
    . Friday, May 15, 2015 .


    Hello, hi. This new blog post is brought to you by my renewed addiction to the Internet (which may have been enhanced by the absence of a smartphone.) Still marveled by the thought that I was able to survive a week of not being too in touch with my social media accounts! It's quite liberating, in a way. Though, slight RIP, Instagram account. But promise, I'll be back soon! Or never. Whatever.

    Anyway, I curated a handful of links that I think are worth sharing and checking out. Here ya go:

    One. I found this blog, Anna the Red, that focuses on making bento. I've stumbled upon her post in which Anna replicated some iconic food from some Miyazaki films into the real thing! What a genius. I don't know if anybody else have attempted to do this but this was such an interesting concept to do! I now make it a personal challenge to copy the breakfast food from Howl's Moving Castle and the ramen with ham from Ponyo. Haha!

    Two. Here are different beautiful illustrations of Alice in Wonderland by different artists: Salvador DalĂ­'sLeonard Weisgard’s, and here's a compilation of the best illustrations of my all-time favorite children's book.

    Three. I made the mistake of reading this BuzzFeed article while I was at work because it was sooooo hard to quietly laugh --  more like laugh boisterously but without a sound. Tumblr is just gold.

    Four. As The Neglected Books Page's site says: "Here you'll find lists of thousands of books that have been neglected, overlooked, forgotten, or stranded by changing tides in critical or popular taste." Now we would never run out of things to read in this life time!

    The next two links are for those who like reading about fun factoids and bits of information. I really, really like those, you know. Tidbits of trivia or when I discover something that's hidden in plain sight. Statistics turned into wonderful charts and pie graphs. There's just something oddly soothing when things are in certain order.

    Five. Spurious Correlations - connections between two sets of data that are completely unrelated to each other. For example: the correlation of US spending on science space and technology and suicides by hanging, strangulation and suffocation is 99.79%! Haha!

    Six. Little Big Details. New favorite website!

    Seven. I never imagined that at some point in my life, I would actually own outdoor-sy items like Earth mats and rolltop bags and learn to pitch a tent and consider buying a hammock but yes, it is happening. Haha. Here's a guide I found on Rookie Mag's site, a list of things to bring and reminders when staying outdoors.

    . Sunday, May 10, 2015 .


    I've stopped asking for rationales ever since it ended, ever since I met you and ever since the first day happened. Yes, in that particular order. I never bothered to turn around and take a moment to contemplate on the reasons because knowing you, frankly, there aren't any to begin with. I was completely beguiled by everything you think you stand for and everything that you are really not. From that point on, everything took hard work. It took every bit of my intention to go against the current. I cannot be with you. I cannot give in. I cannot talk to you. We just can't be anything that would seem normal and uncontrived.

    Everything is spilling over and cannot be contained. Too much thinking, too much worrying, too much animosity, too much apathy, too much longing, too much -- always too much of the bad things. I have my heart bursting at the seams, filled with a torrent of 'so much mores' and causes and mysteries.

    I keep thinking if I need to forgive anyone -- or rather, do I need to forgive myself for thinking too low of what I deserve? I am still trying to make something out of all the disappointments and crashing and burning that happened the past 2 years. I can't make sense of what I keep doing wrong, why when my feet have touched so much new ground, I feel like I haven't budged an inch from that miserable place I was in. I keep thinking I must be wearing too old goggles or my spectacles aren't right because I can't seem to see the bigger picture the way the bigger picture needs to be seen. The way other people see me in this particular 'light.' 

    Am I raining on my own parade?

    So what am I saying? I still don't know. I still have no idea. No. Of course, I do. I've got a strong will, just weak hands, and I don't know what to do with either one of them.* I'm geographically and borderline morally challenged. I admire people that never had a problem with gray areas. I keep disappointing some people with my terrible choices, but I somehow miss the point that first and foremost, I betray myself. I am my own gloom cloud. 

    But I know I have changed. Still, in my measly way, I grew up. I've learned that I am the one hindering what I could be. I, again, live on my own (technically). I had the courage to take the first step eventhough my insides are shaking and my bones are quivering. I have so many new stories to tell. I have learned so much from all of these, from all of them, from all of you. So many happy things to fill my mind on lazy days: typewriters, linen sheets, breakfast in bed for dinner, puppies, crisp white shirts, factory fresh 'new car' smell, running my hand at the back of his handwritten letters and ice cold Coke. I need to stop putting beautiful things to waste.

    Now I lay here on my bed and feel all the empty space weighing down on me. I've been stretched out on these pillows far too long, it's beginning to feel uncomfortable. I've been staring at the ceiling all day, I've begun to see eye floaters in my field of vision. I will always carry you, you and you with me. In some parallel universe, chances favored us and we need not worry about stepping on other people's toes. In some parallel universe, you were brave enough to see yourself differently. In some parallel universe, you have endured more than what we/I had to endure in this lifetime and it was all worth it.

    I flip my pillows and turn on my back. I tap my fingers, close my eyes and hum our favorite song. The future is here.

    . Friday, May 08, 2015 .

    One of the perks of having friends like mine is I get to know about the ~*~coolest~*~ gigs and of course, attend them. I was very fortunate to catch for the second time the Banahaw Tugtugan (it's the festival's third year) in Bangkong Kahoy Valley in Dolores, Quezon. 

    Last year's was certainly a feat to beat (haha) with a ton of unforgettable things that happened and I can definitely say it was one of the best nights I've ever had. PURE FUN.

    Aside from enjoying the music, being with nature (first time pitching a tent! well, I was taught how to pitch a tent haha) and the company of friends, Banahaw Tugtugan is a concert for a cause. It's for the benefit of the Bangkong Kahoy Youth Educational and Environmental Fund. 

    Here's a bunch of photos during the event (all taken by friends; credits at the bottom) because my phone's battery was running low when we got there, I was too lazy to plug it somewhere far from our tent, and then it got stolen/I somehow lost it the next morning. I know. Sad.




    A hornbill taking interest at our tent. Haha!
    Them fun people :)

    Photos before and after the cut by LJ Pasion, Muffet Sta. Maria, Ria Alarcon and Denvie Balidoy.


    . Monday, May 04, 2015 .


    Man, I totally suck at keeping my promise last year to read more books. I posted this a while back in the hopes that I can get the ball rolling again in terms off crossing out some books of my list. Just laughing right now at my effort to try and finish not one, but three books! How ambitious! In that post, there were a total of 6 books I was hoping to read before the end of the world (LOL) but miserably and embarrassingly failed. I finished one, started two and the rest, saved somewhere in my phone but haven't read even the first word (yep, e-books).

    Okay, so I'm going to try again, and I'm going to be realistic this time. Hahaha. Coincidentally, lately, I've been reacquainted more with Haruki Murakami's works because of friends who happen to like his writings a lot.

    Finished: The Strange Library 
    It's a really thin book so I'd punch myself in the face if I didn't get to finish it in one sitting. I think I've mentioned here how I've come to read this super weird story, in roundabout an hour. It's super weird and sinister that it makes you want to bury your nose in it until you know how it ends. It's actually the kind of weird that you'll end up liking. This was my first Murakami book, too, (attempted to read 1Q84 before) so this really got me interested to reading more of his works. The book's got super cool illustrations. And there's another version which has birds, tea cups and donuts!
    Why do I act like this, agreeing when I really disagree, letting people force me to do things I don't want to do?”
    Currently: Kafka On The Shore
    I'm on the second chapter of the book, the one where the teacher was describing that morning when she let her students climb the Rice Bowl Hill, pick and eat mushrooms and the kids somehow ended up being poisoned. The whole chapter reminded me of Grave of the Fireflies, with all the descriptions of the war and how the children are suffering for it. I'm still early on in the book, everything's quite vague and hopefully I get to finish it next weekend. *crosses fingers*

    Next: Sputnik Sweetheart
    This book will go next just because of a colleague's recommendation. He saw the Kafka book sitting on my table and told me that I would enjoy reading it, then eagerly suggested reading Sputnik Sweetheart afterwards. So I guess that would be my third Murakami book!

    Here's to hoping I could finish these books. I'm giving myself a month to finish the two remaining ones, then maybe I'll have Chuck Palahniuk next. Any book/author recommendations for my future read? :)

    Photo credits: 1 / 2 / 3