11:11Wednesday, March 11, 2015
#1 I miss this.
It's one of my favorite things to do, one of my favorite places to be in, one of my favorite memories to think of, an event I undoubtedly look forward to, and I always can't get enough of it to the point that I already long for it while it's still happening. A whirlwind -- always a whirlwind, a potpourri of emotions and silent thank yous and endless laughter. My heart will always want to miss this in the worst way.
#2 It came full circle.
The unexpected pleasure when, for some reason, a fortunate stroke of serendipity happens. Overwhelming but funny. That one instance of kismet. In all honesty about this matter, I never had any expectations. I do not see it as some huge divine providence from the skies. Really, it's just a matter of knowing the right people. That after a decade, I'm able to utter the name and converse and acquaint and can properly label myself as a friend (or not, maybe in the next few weeks).
#3 Signs and non-believers.
I've come a long way from being that wide-eyed girl with her heart skipping when every part of her mental checklist gets crossed out. Perpetuating a misconstrued notion, a mistaken idea or just plain bad situation. All at once the crowd begins to sing that this maybe it, but I could only reply with a smile because, obviously, it is not. I've learned to be quite cynical, I've learned not to wait (because it's been brought to my attention before that I've been good at this), I've learned not to hold back my time for other people.
#4 This year, I will be 29.
I've never really wrapped my head around this thought until I read a certain article from the Internet, and frankly, it caused me to panic for a few good minutes. So let me just lay it out there. This is the latest my 20s is going to get, and from here on out, for the next 10 years of my life, when someone asks how long I've been inhabiting this planet, I could only be as vague as I'm in my early 30s.
#5 Not really forgetting you.
The next time I talk about this with another person, you'll not be a part of it anymore. I'm reconstructing something from what we started into something new, and it kind of feels good that when I think about this, it will not remind me of how we held hands so tight under the skies, sand and sea in between our toes, and we promised not to part. That feels a lifetime ago.
(Image from here.)