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And just as I said everything on my last post, I went and jinxed it again. Oh well, I'm not gonna divulge on the details. But I was really sorry for what I've done.

But I was also thinking, what if this is what's meant to happen. Somehow, somewhere we wold snap at each other and call it quits permanently? I can't even begin to make myself beg more than what we could consider an ample amount of "effort" to straighten things out. I don't know. I guess things are just the way they are right now.

I am sad, of course. Right at that moment when I said I was ready to make things full blast again, I go and fuck it up. Haha. I don't even know what's remotely funny that I was able to type there haha.

I'm now thinking if I fucked it up or it was already fucked up from the beginning or it was already fucked up already and I fucked it up more. That's 4 of the f word in one sentence.

I don't want to be the Queen of Jinx anymore.

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